In this episode, we interviewed Lucile Paul Chevance , coach, trained in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), NVC (Non-Violent Communication), yoga, meditation and breathing techniques.
Today, we talk about surpassing oneself, competition and accomplishment. How to tell the difference between a compensation project and a realization project? How to achieve your goals with ultimately personal achievement and fulfillment as your main interest? Lucile answers all our questions.
What is Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)?
NLP is a technique that allows you to identify beliefs , analyze behaviors and study communication .
When we are in a relationship with a person, if we can identify the modes of operation of the person in front of us, this will greatly facilitate communication.
We all have a dominant cognitive mode: auditory, visual or kinesthetic.
In a learning phase, auditory people must record and listen again while visual people learn better by writing.
We also have what NLP calls meta-programs or sub-programs: We make our choices based on similarity ( associator ), or based on difference ( differentiator ). So some only see the world through the commonalities they see, while others (rarer, less than 5% of the population) are inevitably attracted by what is different. To set up a project, Lucile recommends a team of 8 associators and 2 differentiators.
We also make our choices based on our past successes ( internal reference ) or based on what one of our loved ones has done ( external reference ).
NLP develops a real sense of observation and relationships . This technique focuses attention on “ How it will work ” rather than “ Why it doesn’t work .” The goal is to understand how the person functions psychologically.
Lucile is a coach, focused on the achievement of the person with a goal. Projects of achievement , fulfillment and sharing are values that she defends on a daily basis, in her work.
Our coach was based on the teachings of Tal Ben-Shahar, an American-Israeli teacher and writer, specializing in the field of positive psychology and leadership. One of his studies shows that obtaining a diploma only contributes to 10% of our happiness.
How does personal realization work?
“The first step to define is to know if the project is a compensation or realization project. Is this something you do to prove to yourself that you’re worth something or because it’s important?”
When we carry out a project that leads to sharing, exchange, and which will nourish us, it is a project of realization. Conversely, if we do it by saying to ourselves “By doing this, I prove that”, then we are in a compensation project.
Example: When you buy a luxury watch to show that you can afford it, it is a compensation project. On the other hand, if we are passionate about quality watchmaking mechanisms, then it is a project of realization.
A compensation project is “a project of the head”, it is our mind which tells us “You want to do this to obtain that”. To switch to a production project, you have to abandon the form (the watch) and ask yourself the question “What is the substance?”, “Does this project give me value?”.
A compensation project brings no inner satisfaction.
“Nothing external can compensate for an internal lack, a lack of esteem will not be compensated by a pair of shoes.”
2 accessible, efficient and quick tools
It often happens that we put too much pressure on ourselves to achieve our goals. Lucile entrusts us with two of her tools, to keep you calm:
- Cardiac coherence
A technique that allows breathing, heartbeat and the brain to be synchronized. Accessible to everyone, this practice only lasts 5 minutes, and is extremely effective.
Initially guided, this practice calms the brain, lowers stress levels, reduces addictions and brings indescribable well-being.
And to finish, we share with you Lucile's answers to our " Tonic Quiz " (Quick Questions - Quick Answers):
- A book to recommend : “ Jonathan Livingston the Gull ”, by Richard Bach .
- A place to recommend to us in India : Kerala, a state in southern India.
- Next person to interview : Malek A.Boukerchi
- One last piece of advice : “Know yourself.”
If you liked this episode as well as our coach's advice, find Lucile on her Instagram account @lucilepaulchevance , her website and her YouTube page where she posts her guided meditations. His book, “The Child of the Source” will be republished next October. Patience, patience…
Excellent listening to all!
See you next week, to learn more new, concrete keys to apply in your daily life.
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